What do you need after a raucous all night bachelor party? If you said grease, carbs and green chile you are totally right.
And an egg.
Serious chowing with friends.
God bless you Horseman’s Haven. Yup, this place was the only restaurant that made mine and Girlie’s absolutely must revisit list from our last trip to Santa Fe. Its straight up, no frills good food transcends its non-descript, hodgepodge pseudo-dive identity problem.
Shoved oddly behind a gas station, close to nothing in particular, this little unassuming diner has been churning out huge messy plates of deliciousness for locals and the college crowd for years.
The green chile cheeseburger laughs at your handheld attempts.
Even though they have recently renovated, you can’t shake the sense that the threadbare under layer is just behind the seams. Horse blankets still cover the vinyl benches, the odd assortment of pictures and nick-knacks hang unconcernedly at odd angles on the walls and the new karaoke machine is just as likely as not to have some crappy, falsetto, R&B song stuck on an endless loop.
But that’s not why you come to Horseman’s. No, you come to Horseman’s because they have the most fabulous green and red chile for miles. My god, I could eat them both with a spoon or a straw or a spoon and a straw. Or just pour them all over myself and do some kind of primeval chile dance.
It doesn’t particularly matter what you order. Everything is prepared well and seasoned as if the cooks actually taste the food as they go. And as our friend David says, “New Mexico has a knack for taking what would normally be food you eat with your hands and turning it into a soup.”
Horseman’s has certainly taken this to heart. Almost everything comes awash in a sea of chile and cheese. If it doesn’t, order a side of green and red and make it happen yourself.
Veiled in a mystery of queso.
The potatoes are a particularly fine vehicle to experience the dual chile combo. If (when, let’s be honest) we go back, I think I’ll just get a big order of them with a fried egg, some side tortillas and bowls of their delicious sauces and proceed to make a mess of myself.
A word of warning though- Horseman’s has what they call Level 2 green chile on the menu. It never just comes with anything- you specifically have to request it. You should probably have to sign a waiver.
In its natural habitat the Level 2 lulls you into a false sense of security before destroying you and your family.
This chile is not messing around. It is not your friend. The only reason to eat it is purely for the huge endorphin rush. Much like freebasing or fat lines of blow, you’ll feel good for a while but your body probably won’t be thanking you later.
After we finished up (just as the cursed karaoke machine finally changed tunes) we headed down to the Plaza where a cool vintage car show happened to be going on. As a bonus, these were some of the awesome vehicles we got to check out:
Notice the tequila-style radiator overflow.
Hoods up in praise to the Cathedral in the background.
I'll take this picnic please.
The cop you don't want pulling you over. Or maybe you totally do...
Santa Fe, NM 87507
(505) 471-5420
