Here's something a little superficial to lighten up your Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. It has to be superficial, because I'm doing laundry while I write, which means that every 24 minutes I have to jump up, run to the laundry room, and switch out a load of clothes. I kinda miss having a washing machine in the house.
And gotta run out again! Sheets are due to go in the dryer!
And I'm back. It's a regular Fractured Consciousness Monday around here. (That would sound better were it a Friday.)
Anyway! Pop quiz, suckas! Look at this menu, and then tell me, is the Old Italian sub served hot? How about just the regular Italian?
If you said yes, Hog Island thinks you're a fool. But don't worry, they don't have a high opinion of us, either. We went to Hog Island Deli on Saturday, wanting a good sub with nice, Italian-dressed deli meats on a toasty length of bread, but that's not what we got. Instead, we got Boar's Head on a gummy cold roll dressed with limp lettuce, plain balsamic, and a way too-healthy shake of oregano.
When our sandwiches arrived, we were momentarily pleased at their appearance. That is, until we touched them to discover their chill.
I went up to explain to the guy behind the counter that we were a little surprised at having received cold sandwiches, given that the ones we'd ordered were listed under "Hot Stuff." His verbatim response: "yeah, some retard listed those under 'hot stuff', I guess because they're hot sellers. I've been asking them to change it forever now. Sorry."
So there you have it. If I were Hog Island Deli, and this was an ongoing problem, I think I'd tell people who ordered things listed under "hot stuff" not to necessarily expect a hot sandwich. Or if they were surprised at getting a cold sandwich when they thought they'd ordered a hot one, and they TOLD ME ABOUT THE PROBLEM, perhaps I'd, I dunno, offer to TOAST the stupid thing for them! (And I probably wouldn't call someone I work with a "retard," while I was at it. That insult is so '90s.)
I guess I wouldn't care a whole ton, except that for somewhere around $18 for two sandwiches and a soda - I enjoyed my delicious root beer, thanks! - I felt like we'd paid enough to get a good sammich. Guess not.
Lesson learned. If what we're really craving is a tasty dressed Italian sandwich on a toasty fresh bun, we should just freaking go to Home Slice. Logan said he wouldn't have another desire to cheat on their subs anytime soon.
Hog Island Deli is at 1612 Lavaca Street in Austin.
